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Q: What kind of behavior is considered domestic violence?
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A: Domestic violence can take a number of forms, including:
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- physical behavior (slapping, punching, pulling hair or shoving);
- forced or coerced sexual acts or behavior (unwanted fondling or intercourse, or sexual jokes and insults)
- threats (threatening to hit, harm or use a weapon);
- psychological abuse (attacks on self-esteem, attempts to control or limit another person's behavior, repeated insults or interrogation);
- stalking (following a person, appearing at a person's home or workplace, making repeated phone calls or leaving written messages); or
- cyberstalking (repeated online action or email that causes substantial emotional distress).
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Q: If I leave, how can I make sure the abuser won't come near me again?
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A: The most powerful legal tool for stopping domestic violence is the temporary restraining order (TRO). A TRO is a decree issued by a court that requires the perpetrator to stop abusing you. The order may require, for example, that the perpetrator stay away from the family home, where you work or go to school, your children's school and other places you frequent (such as a particular church). The order will also prohibit further acts of violence. Many states make it relatively easy for you to obtain a TRO. In California, the court clerk will hand you a packet of forms and will even help you fill them out. When you've completed your forms, you'll go before a judge to show evidence of the abuse, such as hospital or police records. Sometimes judges are often available to issue TROs after normal business hours.
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